“The United States is under attack!” My eyes widen listening to the words coming from the speaker. “The nuclear missile program has been compromised and you’re now locked in the presidential bunker, moments away from war.” That doesn’t sound good. “You have sixty minutes to disarm the missiles, good luck.” The fate of the world is in my hands…
The fate of the world isn’t actually in the hands of a 17-year-old girl (I hope). This is just the name of the game when it comes to escape rooms. I first suggested that my family attempt one when we started encountering communication issues; now they’re the tradition that brings us closer, allowing us to learn more about each other in a mind-bending way. However, the lessons I’ve taken away from escape rooms extend much further than this.
The instant the timer starts ticking downwards, my eyes dart left and right. 60… 59:59… Any of the various items meticulously placed around The Treehouse’s setting could serve as a vital puzzle piece. My analytical mind not only helps plan my getaway in an escape room, but also enables me to look after my community. Living in Chicago’s southside but attending a school near downtown let me witness first-hand the disparities regarding funding and profitability between start-ups created by minorities in my predominantly African American community and nonminorities in the financial district. This observation prompted me to develop an entrepreneurship program that introduces Black girls to resources needed to create their own businesses. Being Black is a substantial part of my identity, so it’s important for me to see others of a similar complexion in a position to make a difference. I strive to make others feel represented, and my ability to analyze situations to create opportunities allows me to do this.
The door to a second room pops open. 36:28… 36:27… Escape rooms spark a sense of curiosity that I couldn’t imagine gaining elsewhere. Upon entering The Wizard of Oz, I’m left wondering how the trees placed before me are programmed to blink in Morse code. This curiosity extends into other aspects of my life, leading me to question, for example, how Bernoulli’s principle permits objects to levitate through air currents despite seemingly unbalanced forces. Or what the greatest possible length for a straw is (after dragging a tube-like model up three flights of stairs, I can confidently say 32-feet). The creative facet of escape rooms also triggers my innovative spirit. Though time-consuming, I enjoy scouring through leftover craft supplies to find popsicle sticks for my latest Rube Goldberg machine because it allows me to experiment with creating systems to solve everyday tasks. By letting my thoughts run wild and engaging in clever endeavors, I gain a feeling of satisfaction knowing that some day the product of my doing will impact a project expanding beyond myself.
The last room looms. 2:01… 2…
Okay, to be honest I don’t always escape the rooms in time. The Museum Heist is an example– ultimately, the challenge of squirming through vents and deactivating lasers triumphed over me. Yet, I left grateful knowing I’d be better prepared for our next puzzle. And I’ve worked hard to not let other setbacks deter me. I was crushed after finding out I didn’t advance to nationals in my freshman year of Business Professionals of America, but after tweaking my presentation with the feedback provided, I emerged stronger the following year, earning second place. I approach every situation eager to participate, willing to fail, and determined to grow because each experience enables me to seek improved solutions moving forward. I’ve learned that success comes with roadblocks, but outcomes are even more satisfying with a story to tell.
I’m ready to enter the next stage of my life as an engineer with the insights that escape rooms have given me. Maybe I’m prepared to have the fate of the world in my hands after all.
Brief Analysis:
-
Notice how the slightly longer, more developed “italics” and “bold” sections allow us to get to know the student a bit better, beyond her interest in escape rooms.
-
Note too how she’s also able to weave in connection to the admission nutrients—though it might have been nice to weave in “collaboration” a bit more clearly.
Essay marked for annotations (see grid below):
(Note: Below, we’ve bolded where the student uses escape rooms to directly link to some of her core values; in the grid beneath, we lay out how she illustrates those values via specific life experiences, and then reflects on why these experiences are meaningful.)
“The United States is under attack!” My eyes widen listening to the words coming from the speaker. “The nuclear missile program has been compromised and you’re now locked in the presidential bunker, moments away from war.” That doesn’t sound good. “You have sixty minutes to disarm the missiles, good luck.” The fate of the world is in my hands…
The fate of the world isn’t actually in the hands of a 17-year-old girl (I hope). This is just the name of the game when it comes to escape rooms. I first suggested that my family attempt one when we started encountering communication issues; now they’re the tradition that brings us closer, allowing us to learn more about each other in a mind-bending way. However, the lessons I’ve taken away from escape rooms extend much further than this.
The instant the timer starts ticking downwards, my eyes dart left and right. 60… 59:59… Any of the various items meticulously placed around The Treehouse’s setting could serve as a vital puzzle piece. My analytical mind not only helps plan my getaway in an escape room, but also enables me to look after my community. Living in Chicago’s southside but attending a school near downtown let me witness first-hand the disparities regarding funding and profitability between start-ups created by minorities in my predominantly African American community and nonminorities in the financial district. This observation prompted me to develop an entrepreneurship program that introduces Black girls to resources needed to create their own businesses. Being Black is a substantial part of my identity, so it’s important for me to see others of a similar complexion in a position to make a difference. I strive to make others feel represented, and my ability to analyze situations to create opportunities allows me to do this.
The door to a second room pops open. 36:28… 36:27… Escape rooms spark a sense of curiosity that I couldn’t imagine gaining elsewhere. Upon entering The Wizard of Oz, I’m left wondering how the trees placed before me are programmed to blink in Morse code. This curiosity extends into other aspects of my life, leading me to question, for example, how Bernoulli’s principle permits objects to levitate through air currents despite seemingly unbalanced forces. Or what the greatest possible length for a straw is (after dragging a tube-like model up three flights of stairs, I can confidently say 32-feet). The creative facet of escape rooms also triggers my innovative spirit. Though time-consuming, I enjoy scouring through leftover craft supplies to find popsicle sticks for my latest Rube Goldberg machine because it allows me to experiment with creating systems to solve everyday tasks. By letting my thoughts run wild and engaging in clever endeavors, I gain a feeling of satisfaction knowing that some day the product of my doing will impact a project expanding beyond myself.